My Skin: My Colour

I remember all my life my mother asked me to avoid sun…Tanning !! Is it a Curse !! I grew up hearing don’t expose yourself to sun and I really never cared – Be it the Face – off during my growing years with my colony boys struggling to keep pace with them and not limiting myself to the barbies and kitchen apparatus meant for the little tiny tots…I was sure that my life has to be more than appearance.

Going back to college days, when I had this huge viscous circle of girls debating on cosmetics to boyzzz to movies..i do admit of dreaming too but it was just limited to the good looking NDA ( National Defence Academy ) boys…was I not weird ( Collecting the pics of rifle and tanks )  ??

I have always struggled to get the meaning of Beauty in Indian context because it has always been synonym to Fair Skin. We always knew skin colour played a vital role in the matrimonial market but it then got extended to work place… why just work place .it’s every other place. 

Forget the girls mom standing next to the photographer instructing them to get the photo clicked / edited that was brightest of bright but the marriage broker ensured the same. Obviously the ones who got the brunt of it were the dark skinned girls, no matter how good looking they actually were…Will someone really bother to get into critical aspects like the girls capabilities be it personal or professional, education or intellect..ghosh !! everything just revolves around this so called WHITE colour.

Surprisingly, this obsession of fair skin isn’t really limited to the men’s but women's too wanted fair husband…For girls though it becomes a tough life..They carry this burden.The fate that one needs to struggle hard to get a wheatish or dark skin married.

I realized that this skin color issue isn’t just restricted to matrimonial , they are thrust on our souls !! From where on earth did we coin this term- Wheatish ! It never even appeared in the dictionary. It seems that there’s no one answer for this national obsession, it’s just the way things have always been, and will probably stay for some time to come till we see some revolution in the way we think.

Where and When this revolution breaks is what we can just sit back and wait… will they ever ??

There are million dollar MNC’s surviving on fairness market..TV, the most important medium has always been dominated by ‘ fairness  cream advertisements ‘ ..Joh dikhta hai who bhikta hai and why not !! A 16 year old college student staying in BAREILLY wants to apply fairness cream because her idol Katrina Kaif is successful all thanks to the Fair skin. These Cream Manufacturers have shamelessly given message to the masses that having fairer skin helps a person to be more successful…Fair !! Are we fair in doing so ? That’s a question I guess every celebrity should ask themselves before accepting these kind of advertisements because in India these are not just a celebrity but role model s seen by many. 

With the recent Amitabh Bachhan controversy surrounding Pepsi and the hype surrounding it…Its time we see celebrities take the responsibility of what and why they endorse a particular product.Till then, sit back and relax  and of course think twice before you head out to buy Fairness cream for yourself.

                                                             Here’s my teacher !        

I always though there cannot be a better teacher than my husband..He has made my see situations in a different light always.But here I see a new teacher in my life who has not only changed me but changed me soooo much… he is none other than my 18 months old baby , Siddhanth !

Everybody knows that marriage changes you but motherhood transforms you..In my case, motherhood has made my rediscover life !

There are a infinite stuff my son teaches me in a day from being prompt and active irrespective of ur health and status; one needs to be always ready to jump from your couch the moment my son is up to some tricks. Even an object kept at a 4 ft high can be approachable in the weirdest possible way ( he can access it anyhow ) ..One cannot afford to neglect the tinniest of objects lying on the floor as the other minute it could be straight in hands to mouth.Social etiquettes !! Ghosh !! what is it suppose to be ? The other day I found myself picking up a piece of food from the floor and consuming…thanks to my son..i call it ‘ Sid-Effect ‘.

You taught me to be OMNIPRESENT- That’s a word reserved for God but na na…as a mother you need to be Omnipresent..You need to be cooking in the kitchen with your eyeballs glued to the chotu wherever he is. Yes, a mother can manage that..you taught me that masala overcooked doesn’t seem that bad..maybe we are now use to having every dish overcooked in the process of cooking and eyeing you.

You taught me to live the PRESENT – He is 100% focused on what he does for the moment.. If he finds something funny, he laughs to the fullest..If he is cranky, he is the crankiest and if he is yelling, he ensures that the neighbors around are  all alert. He teaches me to enjoy every moment as if the moment lost would be lost forever…He made me realize the value of the moment.

You taught me that Living Life like a Miracle- We have been so long on Earth that we take things for granted, to the point that we don’t even notice them. Siddhanth discovers life every day and is absolutely amazed by it,as if everything is a miracle – be it the water splash noice when he is having his bath, the special sound of a dog’s bark..he is fascinated about the fact that if you drop anything , it falls straight down ..why don’t think float somewhere in the air instead of falling down ? Thanks to my baby, iam learning to look life in a fascinating way.

You taught me to stretch my patience- During the initial 3 months of delivery when I thought changing diapers in the midst of my sound sleep and feeding was the most diffuclt period and I need to have patience to pull myself through this phase..little did I know that what I was going through is nothing compared to the patience you grow when your baby starts walking on his little feet…Right from the phase of crawling to teething where you see the baby putting every other object in his mouth to the phase when he starts walking on his own and that’s not over, every day in the growth spurt, you see challenges.. Even when you’re exhausted and at your limit, you can always do more and you discover you are much stronger and your patience JUST GROWS by leaps and bounds.

Social Etiquettes oh !! do they exists for a Mother of a Toddler ?  I secretly wish if society could allow the mothers of toddlers to do away with all the social norms be it..Frankly speaking I really don’t care now.I see myself reading aloud  poems and songs in a place surrounded by strangers ..I really don’t care if people are amused at my behavior because the mission in hand is to get the attention of my baby to make him feed a spoon of a porridge.The noisier am the greater chance of my chotu consuming the entire stuff.

By the way, have you ever tried grabbing things from your toes ? It is total fun, and of done everyday, it will be very useful particularly when you a holding your baby.         

Planning & Strategizing doesn’t work – Initial few days when I was keeping a track of Siddhanth’s schedule to learn what and how he reacts, consumes, spills and …realized how waste it was.

Planning your moves anticipating that you know your baby is silly. Just when I think I’ve got things figured out… he changes again. One day he likes yoghurt, the next day he doesn’t. One day he wants solid food, the next 2 days he only wants liquid diet..I learned to JUST go with the flow..because constant struggles to get him do what a pediatrician tells you can lead you nowhere..He taught me to just let him do what he wants and things just work out in the flow.

You cannot time bound your activities- My kid taught me that I can never be on time even though am planning a event days in advance.The last minute tantrums or my baby napping at an odd hour would just not make me reach anywhere on time..So he taught me the importance of having a buffer 1 hr if the situation is critical.

Give without expectations- Never before had I realized the happiness I get from just Giving. Giving for the sake of helping someone else, knowing that what I give him matters. It fills my heart with joy.

You are responsible for your behavior- He taught me to be good all the time. He taught me how important it is to act myself the way I want him to learn.He is observing me , my attitude and my behavior. Even more, he copies me. When something unexpected happens, he looks at me with big eyes, checks my reaction and copies my behavior. If I am relaxed, he is relaxed. If I am anxious, he becomes really agitated immediately. Abusing is now a history ! He taught me to project myself the right way no matter what the situation or circumstances is… I feel like am always on the limelight !

Real love is far beyond some silly fights and arguments – The biggest lesson he taught me is irrespective of the pastings he gets , the other moment he forgets and hugs me making me realize that real love exists much beyond the silly fights and arguments you have with your loved ones.It makes you forget every differences and move on after all, you never want to lose the person you love so much.

My darling there’s lot more..am learning every moment..am learning every day.

Love you Loads Tuddu,

Your Amma 

Hello..' My World '

Hello My World...




Wanted to pen down your daily dose of tantrums everyday but.. every other day you are so full of new tactics that i land up collapsing in the bed much before you do :)

I love the feeling of being in love with you, Siddhanth! ( Tuddu ..thats what you call yourself  in your sweet little babyishh accent )

The desire of hand written letter to be preserved for my little one still remains pending...will get it rolling soon, bacha.

Its been months since my last blog..but darling my attention has been spent thinking about you when in office and playing with you when you are around..its so hard to stop visualizing you doing your funny little acts and concentrate on something like blogging...My magical cuddle doll.

Every other day when i start to office, i see these toddlers clinging to their moms playing around and compare it with my situation of making everyday a new excuse...fooling you around with toys, gifts so that i could just abscond to work :( Its a difficult life , my son...having not around you when you demand to be with..The cries and howls when i call you during office hours make me weak )

Its hard to remember what life was 18 months back, but whatever it maybe..it wasn't as beautiful as these..Your giggles have made my life worth living...This year we plan to enroll you to the playschool..I cant imagine how would it be to expose you to the world..for so long you have just been in your comfort zone - with your mom, dad, your family and of course your caretaker.Your every small tactics to grab my attention remains special.I hope I can hold the beauty of these moments in my heart forever.

Iam just putting across the highlights of last few weeks - My star, you have started with your version of 12345 and ABCD ..they sound so cute. Incredibly excitement is the way you narrate about animals everytime you go on a morning walk with your dad..the glow in your face is a billion bucks.

You have started getting those pastings ( as your dad says ) very frequently for all your mischief ..that's make my heart sink but yes, its time to start inculcating the right values and behavior which would be the guiding force for your living.Your dad is so particular about all these..Hope you value them the way he does.

The best part is getting those magical cuddles in the midst of your tantrums...i adore them crazily.

I just hope I can remember the finer nuances of our daily lives, the fun we have, the many adorable things you do...like ensuring that you give me a scratch mark on my face with your so called tiny yet sharp nails every time religiously before the earlier ones disappear.

The sentimental side of my little boy make me go weak...the hugs you bestow on me everyday before dozing off is my hard earned reward for missing you. Hope to receive them forever.

The excitement with every day learning of yours is a treat.. those peculiar words you try explaining with a 100% expressions are so beautiful...You made me talk endlessly about things i haven't spoken or thought about all these years.

Imagine a conversation of hours and hours spent talking just about cows and elephants...My star, we do that everday. There are these noices of nursery rhymes at our place late evening when our neighbors are already off to bed and your parents are dancing post that heavy dinner to ensure that you sleep with a little smile on your face.

Darling..keep smiling..you won hearts ..atleast mine today tomorrow and forever.

My darling son,

Siddhanth ( Tuddu )

  

To SIddhanth..as he turns 18 months today

First of all, a very half happy birthday , my son !

Just 6 months ago, we celebrated your 1st birthday..it was so much fun..A birthday surrounded by our world- my family and your dads family. Everything just flashed in front of me when i type this..

I woke up this morning and was rushing to reach office..its the daily routine of u running carelessly around the house and your caretaker is so much nervous ( she has a hard time managing you when we are around..guess kids tantrums reaches its peak when their parents are around)..thats when your dad reminded me that you are a 18 month old baby today..ghosh !! how did i not remember :(

Last 6 months has been just fab !! You are no longer a baby, but a little boy. I didn’t think I could love you more, but I do. You warm my heart every day with your smile and laughter. You have such a good heart and spirit..you get so emotional and hug me everytime i pretend crying in front of you..I continue to foold you, my baby but guess the expressions of your concerns are so beautiful that i cannot stop enjoying them.

Your vocabulory and understanding has grown by leaps and bounds..i get amazed at how clearly you have started understanding each and every thing we speak to u whether its Malayalam or Hindi..my child, you pick up so fast !! You are better able to articulate your needs and are understanding so much more.

You sometimes get frustrated when you can’t have your way—as you sure know how to throw your tantrums on us and your poor little mom gets succumbed to them...that's when our teacher ( your dad- there's so much he teaches both of us ) comes in my rescue..He makes me strong.

You often fall on the floor ( pretend to fall but avoid when you know that there is no one to hold you ), kicking your legs, screaming as if the world is ending...Sometimes it just breaks my heart to see you so upset..Your dad is strong..am sure he would ensure that you grow up well mannered and disciplined and am here to just spoil you my baby ( i know that would never happen )

But, I confess, your tantrums always makes me smile. You are super cute even when upset. And I love you just the same

The daily dose of fights and love between the son and father is a delight to watch..cant tell you how much i enjoy seeing you both spend so much time together be it those secret walks your dad takes you to every weekends ( though i have managed to figure out that you guys have been frequenting the nearby park and spending time with the squirrels and dogs there.

Some of my favorite moments with you are when you run and throw yourself at me for a hug, do the same back again for another hug---on and on it goes.  It never grows old..not to forget the all of a sudden kisses that are bestowed on me are something i crave for 24/7.

I love the constant care that you shower on animals- your anna ( elephant in malayalam ), doggie, miam ( cats) and cows are always on your mind..these you utter when you get up first in the morning.

I have been given a lot of parenting advice over the past year and a half. The one bit that has stuck out most for me is to follow my instinct, and that is what I try to do.  I have made plenty of mistakes, but my love for you never wavers. 

Those horrible days at work turns so sweeter when i see you darling !

Being a parent is not easy, and yet you make it all worthwhile. Even on the more difficult days, you never fail to make me smile. I cannot begin to tell you how much you mean to me—how glad I am to have you in my life.

Hope you grow with a good and a kind heart and learn to respect others !

Cant tell you how important is for your mom to hear someone telling me good things about you..It really makes me a proud mother..you are no doubt a well behaved boy and am sure you would always be ..A gentlemen !

Your friend/ Your Amma.

A Trip to Mysore & Coorg

Christmas was in & we were off to Karnataka to spend some good times.Our destination trip was planned much in advance thanks to Siddhu ( my 1.5 yr old baby ) its because of him we have started those well planned trips as opposed to the impromptu ones.We crossed Mysore Madikeri road to reach Coorg ( a beauty paradise ).The place was absolutely serene and quiet with the local flavour intact.

Our stay was a part of package we booked..Stayed at Coorg Jungle Camp - a decent resort with all the basic amenities at place..the plus was definately the view..Its located in the midst of dense forest..its approximately 20 minutes drive in the middle of the jungle from the main road.The drive is very much worth the efforts with greenery around and the charm of silence.

We enjoyed the stay at Jungle Camp..they have this huge ..i mean very huge open space coupled with back water view for boating...the sunset view is truly mesmerising...Food was pretty decent with both veg & non veg options available.

Visit to Coorg becomes important primarily because of the Abbey Falls..Located near to Madikeri, Abbey Falls is a breathtaking waterfall where the Kaveri river cascades down a rockface from a height of 70 feet. A hanging bridge has now been built across the gorge here offering a good view of the falls..The noice of water fall with the silence of beauty surrounding it makes it a real treat.

Spent some good quality time at the Abbeys and proceeded to Nisargadhama, a wildlife sanctuary on its own..Its a beautiful place with some good view of Deer and boating.Dubbare is home to some more interesting activities like  Elephant training camp & Rafting,...The Tibets settlements at Kushalnagar is charming..the monastery are well made and have its own beauty.40 feet tall statues of Buddha makes you ecstatic.

A 2 hour road journey then takes you to Mysore  (or Mysuru) ..The majestic city holds a lot of attraction and its a sheer treat for tourists.It has abundance of beauty all around be it the Monumental palace or the beautiful people of Mysore..so simple and rooted to their traditions...I must admit that one would unarguably fall in love with their culture.We stayed in Pai Vista group of hotel which has all the basic amenities at place.The hotel is right at the centre of the mysore city letting you direct access to places like Mysore Palace & St Philomina Church is also a 10 min drive from the hotel.Mysore Zoo, another treat for animal lovers and particularly for the kids...My baby had an awesome time at the zoo..we spent almost half a day at the Zoo...Wide range of Wide species is officially called as  Shri Chamarajendra Zoological Gardens.A route to Chamundi Hills gives you a complete aerial view of Myore ( must tell you ..its looks absolutely magnificent ) ..Chamundeshwari Temple which has a lot of significance and a huge crowd of devotees surrounding the place also has a Brahmakumari Musuem adjacent to it.

The world famous ' Mysore Palace' is just splendid...Beauty at its best..words cannot justify the amazing visual treat it provides.We were in total awe of the ambience and the aura at the palace.

There are various other tourist prominent locations which we unfortunately could not cover in our short trip 2.5 days but yes we did promise to come back to this beautiful city very soon...It has definately created a great impact on us.

Love you my world

Cant believe..Its a year passed..Siddhanth my baby celebrates his first birthday.

The joys getting better day by day.. Never knew parenting is all about exploring the goodness and kindness in you..Your heart just ponders..giggles and smiles when you see the little one and hold him tight.

The last 1 + 9 months of expecting has been such a memorable one filled with plenty of moments so beautiful and so serene..Siddhanth's has walked in with so much of love around him.

I celebrate the hugs, warmth, kisses and of course his daily dose of tantrums..its such a pleasure to see him smile.

Telegrams....160 year old telegram finally bids aideu !!

We will miss you......!!

With telegram service coming to an end, just heard thousands of people thronged to the telegraph office to send the messages to their family and friends..

The once fastest mode of communication has now been taken over by the mobile and digital space. The service has been utilized by infinite people to convey their critical and at time the most crucial messages...would we say its Telegrams Funeral finally!! 

A gentle knock on the door and a man dressed in khakhi hand overs an envelope containing a pink paper with a typed message carrying some information..You know a few hearts beat faster...seriousness arouses..Its only when you look at the body language of the khakhi man, does one realize the content inside. Good news like an arrival of new born,,marriages,, exam results would mean a glow in their faces which makes them eligible for a decent bakshish !!

A faint glimpse of the khakhi man with the pencil placed at the back of the ear meant for the recipient signature is still so vivid in my minds... Oh God !! Can’t believe. Those days are gone !!

A service so intimately linked to a thousands and thousands of lives and with memories that could just not vanish....As an old timer by choice would surely miss the Telegram service.

I think that's what life is all about...Moving on..Life,,,Objects,,,trends,,,opinions,,,everything becomes obsolete and technology just makes u forget everything..It teaches you the importance of time and to be practical..Yeah !! Having said this, i do appreciate the wonders technology has bought us but of course aren’t we losing out on those human connections ...A telegram was one of them !!

We miss you khakhi men carrying telegram !! RIP...iam sure years to come there would soon be a day where we would use these farewell messages for internet and sms'es too..There’s lot stored in this digitally paced world.